Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

%26gt; Quickie #1



%26gt;



%26gt; One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a



%26gt;very sexy nightie.



%26gt; "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."



%26gt; So he tied her up and went fishing.



%26gt;



%26gt;



%26gt; Quickie #2



%26gt;



%26gt;



%26gt; A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran



%26gt;into the house.



%26gt; She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,



%26gt;pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"



%26gt; The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or



%26gt;mountain stuff?"



%26gt; "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."



%26gt;



%26gt;



%26gt; Quickie #3



%26gt;



%26gt; Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and



%26gt;the other is a husband.



%26gt;



%26gt;



%26gt; Quickie #4



%26gt;



%26gt; A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.



%26gt; First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.



%26gt; The optician showed him a card with the letters:



%26gt; 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'



%26gt; "Can you read this?" the optician asked.



%26gt; "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."



%26gt;



%26gt; Quickie #5



%26gt;



%26gt; Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I



%26gt;must tell you all



%26gt; something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."



%26gt; "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of



%26gt;chardonnay."



%26gt;



%26gt; Quickie #6



%26gt;



%26gt; A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.



%26gt;Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.



%26gt; "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!



%26gt;You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We



%26gt;need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're



%26gt;going to STICK!



%26gt; Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when



%26gt;you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST



%26gt;your mind?



%26gt; Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.



%26gt;Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"



%26gt; The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You



%26gt;think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"



%26gt; The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like



%26gt;when I'm driving."



%26gt;



%26gt; Quickie #7



%26gt;



%26gt; Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North



%26gt; Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.



%26gt; On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.



%26gt; That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.



%26gt; On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.



%26gt; That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.



%26gt; On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.



%26gt; The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

THANK YOU I needed a good laugh!!!!!!! Those were great!



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

love em, especialy the last one, awesome.



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

lol verry funny I really like #6



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

this isn't a question



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

i like #2 the most



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

lol i like the last one especially!



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

LMFAO i love the last one.



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

haha they're funny but someone told all of these yesterday or the other day... but still funny :) 閳?br>Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?



lol, funny no6



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

LOL. LOL.



Quickie jokes! Enjoy!!! I Loved them and you?

hahah lmao funny especially number 7 you know once a man loses the hair on his head the hair on his balls is all he's got

No comments:

Post a Comment